My First Stint in LA
After being fired out of the scam rocket of Higher Education and taking a detour on an island off the coast of Massachusetts, I landed in LA in the fall of 2015. Through persistence and a stretched truth here and there, I landed an Administrative Assistant job with (then) PMK*BNC, a PR/Marketing firm for lifestyle and entertainment.
For the first 6 months I worked in film publicity, promoting awards campaigns for A-list films. It was a real trial by fire, but I felt like an adult. I was going to a fancy office, wearing office-y clothes, drinking office-y coffee.
Over the next 10 months — in an effort to carve out more time for my purpose, y’know, actually acting — I worked part-time in Accounting at PMK*BNC. Shoutout to my boss Regina Taylor! She’s the real MVP. Now, I’ll be the first to tell you, this was not my calling, but it sure as hell put food on the table, and I learned a fair amount about how to be a goddamn adult.
LA was generally pretty awesome. I took some acting classes (ActNow, really solid), got scammed by some acting classes (Michelle Danner Studio, shame on you), landed a cool staged reading at the Bootleg Theater, even came dangerously close to joining a cult (I’d be lying if I said it didn’t revolve around the practice of orgasmic meditation)… but spending most of my time working in an office, I found myself frustratingly unfulfilled.
In the midst of it all, I began practicing yoga and mindfulness (my eyes are rolling too). And aside from engaging in the most “I’m an LA transplant look at me” behavior possible, I began unraveling a great deal of who I want to be. I remembered why I came out here in the first place, to be a f#@$ing actor.
It all came to a head when I was let go fired by PMK*BNC (Shoutout Regina Gates again — she let me down easy) only 5 days before my grad school auditions.
Strangely enough, I took it relatively well, considering I was going to have to figure out how I was going to make ends meet for the next few months. Regina even pulled me aside in the lobby before leaving and offered me another position. She told me everyone in Accounts Payable liked me and my work ethic and didn’t want to see me go. The new position was fewer hours, less pay, but a solution. I thanked her and told her I’d consider it.
After an evening fraught with ugly-crying and anxiety -- an emotional release I’d say I was long overdue for -- what followed was a profound calm and notion that no matter what, I’d goddamn figure it out.
You ever have to shimmy out of your sleeping bag, crack open your Ford Fiesta, and piss into the gutters on 3rd street in Santa Monica at 3:00 in the morning, darting your eyes back and forth in vain ‘cuz you aren’t wearing your contacts and you’re practically blind without them? ‘Cuz let me tell you, that taught me some shit. In all honesty though, it was that point at which things began to coalesce for me.
A few weeks after I was fired let go, I was accepted into Brown/Trinity Rep MFA for Acting. The next few months are a bit of a blur, but they ranged from wildly chaotic to bizarrely peaceful. I worked odd jobs. I slept in my car for a while. I would shower at the LA Fitness and dry off with paper towels. I meditated with randos and car-sleepers in the Santa Monica/Venice area. Cashed in my Chipotle Chiptopia Rewards (throwback) and landed $300 of Chipotle catering which fed me when I was strapped. I even saw one (read: many) homeless man butt-ass naked showering at the Santa Monica beach public showers. Hell of a time.
One April morning in 2017, after a night of raucous partying , as I watched the sun rise on the waters of Santa Monica, I said my goodbyes to LA. I closed the chapter on: 1) Entering adulthood, 2) Leaving formalized and externally-imposed structure, and 3) Uncovering a fraction of what it would take to make it as an actor. They were a thoroughly difficult and uncomfortable few years, and I’d be lying if I said I had no idea just how much more challenging the next three would be…